MAX...A Legacy in the Making?

It's me.  Max.  Max is me.  I have internet up here.  In my spare time I was on the internet and found out that the number one (numero uno) name for all dogs for the past ten years is...MAX.  Coincidence?  I think not!  It is obvious to me that once folks saw what a wonderful fellow I was they went to the local
shelters and adopted pups and named them after ME.  Take that Oscar, Bubba, Celie and crew.  Not one of their names made the top ten.  Me, I'm number one.  Now pride is a sin, frowned upon up here, so let's just say I am well pleased to see that I have had such a positive influence on mankind.  Max...just sort of sounds right, don't ya think? 
On another topic however, I am concerned about the 29th this month.  That's pastrami day as you all should know by now.  It's my 'versary, so I get strami.  This month also is the anniversary of Bubbadog's arrival up here.  That always makes for awkward conversation, let alone celebration.  The bigger problem though is the incident at the Hat last month.  I am sure it has Fred  2nd guessing the trip to the Hat.  You see, last month we all took the train there, as usual, but I was really, really hungry.
We were in the drive thru and I just couldn't take it....the aromas from within were overwhelming.  I am a dog afterall...a dog who loves pastrami.  So, OK I did it...I jumped through the window of the train and into the HAT!  Boy were they surprised!  I grabbed all the sandwiches, all the burgers, all the stuff I could and was tossing it to the crew in the train.  Trouble was, I hit the engineer in the head (oops) and
as I did that, he was steering, and well...The HAT go boom!  It was an awful mess, all that food flying around.  People were yelling, Fred was as red in the face as could be....my bad.  But the food was great.  I got back, we drove off and then...and then Minnmouse took over.  Oh boy, you are in serious trouble when she gets like that.  I would have been shaking in my boots if I wore boots.  She gave me such a
speech about the rules, about how we're not even allowed down here and she has to get special permission for all these trips and now I've jeopardized all the future trips...yikes!  Well, it was not a fun  'versary, trust me.  It all worked out.  It always does, hence the reason Minnie is in charge.  The powers that be arranged for it to have never happened, no sign of damage exists at all.  Nobody involved has any memory of our visit.  My belly did/does remember the good food though, so I win!  But it does put my future visits into doubt.  Minmouse wouldn't even discuss them with me today.  So, as of now I must wait and see.  Don't you hate the "wait and see" stuff???

It's a GLORIOUS Day in the Neighborhood!

Well, today is a GLORIOUS day in Heaven.  Duh, is that really a shock?   Every time I wake up I hear Fred say, isn't it a Glorious day here?  Seems like the perfect word.  You folks have lovely days, pretty days, happy days, etc...but really, have you ever had one Glorious day?  The sun here doesn't shine, it
radiates!  There's music all the time, perfect music that is.  Fred says so.  I find him and Minnie always listening to the choir of angels. Yes, there really is a choir of angels that sings alot!   Fred loves music.
He's got buddies that come and bring their buddies and instruments, some fellow named Glenn and a band.  That was a fun time.  They come every once in awhile.  It's hard to explain.  I think of things in
days, when I wake up it's a new day.  But Fred and Minmouse never sleep, so they say there aren't really days here at all.  They say, it's all just Glorious!  I smile at the word, we all do.  It may sound corny, but when you get here, you'll smile too!  So, anyhow, back to music.  Fred always whistles, and is always happy to hear music.  He probably should have been in a band huh?  Glenn and his band love him, so do all these other musicians that have come by.  They seem to know he's a music lover.  This new fellow, Levon came by the other day, he was really neat.  They sat and talked for hours.  Fred said he didn't know his music, per se, but after listening to him, was really happy to have met him.  So there's always stuff like that going on for us.  The music folks all love us too!  Well, they do try to keep the cats off the drums and keep us dogs from stealing the drum sticks, but other than that, they seem quite happy to have us with them.  Glorious isn't it?  Anyhow, that's what's been going on with us lately.
I have lots and lots of catching up to do, but then again, I've got all the time in the world,  don't I?  I'm on my way with the crew to our next train ride.  I'll be back!

Did Anybody Miss ME?

Hi Everybody...Anybody? So sorry it's been so long since last I wrote. I could say it's been so busy up here and all that, but well the truth is....I messed up. Yup, it was me. The only reason we have a computer in Heaven is because Minnie has very big connections, the biggest if you get my drift. Anyhow, it was the only one here. One day we all were on a train ride and I was thinking I'd be cool and all and write about our trip while on it. Well, not the best plan I guess. I got sidetracked when I saw The Hat and jumped off the train and bam, there it went. Worse, it got tangled up in my legs and landed under the train. It went kerplooee. It was NOT my best moment. Minmouse said nope, not gonna happen, no more computers. So, everybody was a bit upset with me which is horrible. I mean, it's Heaven, nobody gets upset with anybody and I managed to upset the crew. It was bad, it was very, very bad. Minmouse is tough, but she also has a heart of gold, so eventually she gave in and went to discuss replacing it and, well here I am. So, that's my story on that. Again, sorry!

I'll move on from the Christmas story since that is so last year! After the holidays, Mom and

Dad got the house back as it should be. Things quieted down and I liked that. And then....Mom decided it would be fun to rip the house up. She really should have just changed the channel.

There is a new channel HGTV and she got addicted to it. It made her start rethinking all sorts of things in the house.  Can you say CHAOS?  But I did get to meet some new folks, for better or worse...next time.  There are cats breathing down my neck to get back to the group.  See Ya!

George, George, George...Better Him than Me!

Back to the Madness. I feel so much better knowing why this stuff is everywhere. With each day (and my anxiety gone) I can honestly say I'm starting to enjoy the decorations. There are lights everywhere, inside and out. I like them. All the colors make you feel all warm and happy. I would have thought the cats would climb the trees but they don't. They sometimes sit under one of them but mostly we all just gather around and look at the lights together. I have almost gotten used to napping on one of the Santa rugs. I occasionally do bring one or 2 (or 10) of the stuffed animals down from the tub. Why not, they should see it all right? My biggest adjustments are the moving Looney Tunes guys and the moving elves. I sometimes dream they'll attack me as I sleep. Maybe we can lock the doors to the rooms they're in? The big party is coming soon. How can you tell, you ask? Well, the enormous amount of food and beverages being brought in. That and there is an overkill on the cleaning by Mom lately. Every nook and cranie is being cleaned, by golly you could eat off the floor...oh wait, I DO eat off the floor. Anyhow, once the party cooking gets rolling I will have myself in perfect position for taste testing. Somebody has to do it, so why not me. George was telling me about his last Christmas here. He made a name for himself it seems. The folks had just finished putting up a gazillion ornaments on their 16 foot tree. Then....then...crash, boom, bang. George. George had climbed inside and managed to totally destroy the whole thing. WOW...he lives to tell about this? He said he was so scared both during and after the crash. He expected a yelling or a beating or something. Mom just cried and cried. Dad had to do the cleanup of the tons of broken ornaments. Mom didn't move for hours. I am beyond grateful that it was George and not me, whew. Then again, I am a dog and dogs do not climb trees. He said it was really bad but more than shocking when days later they put up yet another 16 foot tree. Do they grow these things somewhere? I never saw plastic trees in all my outside adventures. There must be a fake tree lot I guess. So, that was the first and last tree climbing done by any cats. Soon this insanity will end...I hope!

Bits And Pieces From Heaven

Up here we just have all the time in the world (well Heaven, but you get my jist). Fred has us visiting family and friends all the time. He has so many of them too. Everybody loves us, but that's no surprise. Minnie and Winnie have been hanging together alot which is neat. Of course Mickey is with them at all times. Mickey is just so cool. Celie and Queenie are like the bobbsy twins...if you see one, you see the other. As for me, well I am drawn to both Lady and Smokey. I find myself always wondering about my folks. I listen to all the others as they tell stories of their lives with Mom and Dad. Bubba had the most time with them, other than me. Of the dogs that is. Winpoo had 19 years with them so she really has some tales to tell. It's funny that on earth Winnie had no voice and now up here she's a real babbler. Her stories are pretty funny too. Bubba had a good one. He who is (not) perfect was always allowed out without a leash. One Christmas morning he went out and there was a really big white dog at the front door. He chased her all the way down the hill....and then, she chased him all the way back so fast that he ran straight inside and nearly shut the door himself! He said he then and there learned that just because he was a friendly sort didn't mean all dogs were! He said Mom and Dad stood on their stoop and laughed and laughed for the longest time....and never did see that dog again. Maybe she was a Christmas mirage? Another time Bubba and Minmouse were laughing at the time on

Christmas they chased the train around the tree. Seems Minnie thought she could ride on it and nearly knocked it over. They always played together, it seems. They were the only 2 pets for the longest time so they played alot. At night, when the lights went off they'd have a chase game and he'd carry her around with her head in his mouth...can you imagine if I had tried that with Winnie or Mickey or even George? OMG...they'd have me tossed out, I am sure of it. Well, maybe George would play along. It was cool to hear their stories, I want very much to know all about them and their time with my Mom and Dad. Sharing is hard for me...but Fred says I don't have to worry, there is enough love for all of us. I sure hope so. Fred is in most of Oscar's stories. Oscar took over Fred's world and they were tighter than tight. Fred said that until Oscie came along he never ever wanted anything to do with a dog. HUH? Fred? Mr. Love all Dogs Fred? Wow. But he says it's true. Oscar took to Fred and never gave up. When Fred got sick Oscar sat at his door guarding him so he could rest. I could have done that. I'm a good guard dog. Oscar became as attached to Fred as anything. But as Oscar says, Mom was always his Mom. Mom was his first person and so before Oscar left to come up here, he came back to live with Mom. My Mom is his Mom too...so I guess we're all related? There are so many stories

to hear and I'm happy to listen to them. But right now I'm off as Fred has a surprise trip for us tonight. He says we'll take the train and have a feast, so what else is new!!!

There's a Jolly Old Fat Guy...HUH?

Well the trees are still here. So is all the stuff. I do mean ALL the stuff. Do you know they even took my clock away? It's the clock I learned to tell time by, I love my clock. But now I look and
there instead of my clock is a jolly old fat man with a snowy white beard. Who the heck is he?
There are lots of pictures of this clown. I went to the family room to take a nap and lo and behold my rug now has a jolly old fat man with a snowy white beard too. I can't sleep looking at this.
He's taking over. Maybe it's a cult? I've heard of them on tv. Fat bearded guy, elves, trees, I really have to wonder what's taken hold of my people. Finally I got Winnie and crew to talk to me. They seem so calm about all this. I've always been thought of as a tough guy, but the truth is I do have anxiety issues. I don't like Mom leaving me and I sure don't like all this upheaval.
I'm starting to chew myself, pace in circles, all classic signs of anxiety disorder (I watch alot of tv). So I need answers....quick. Winnie finally stopped giggling and told me about my folks. It seems they go all out (no shock Sherlock!) on decorating for Christmas. Oh, ok...what does that mean? So she explained that there's a holiday that the whole world celebrates and it's called Christmas. The jolly old fat guy with the snowy white beard is called Santa Claus. He's the symbol of Christmas for children. Again, OK...what children? Winnie said that Mom and Dad and all adults are children at heart and that at Christmastime they get to remember and enjoy the fun of Christmas as a child. She also mentioned something about a party. Party? I think that sounds like fun. She said we don't get to be there for the parties though 'cause somebody could accidentally leave a door or gate open and then we'd be missing. How do you have a party without us? Celie explained that Christmas is really more special than just trees and Santa and stuff but that for alot of people the joys of getting together and eating, drinking, visiting and all that jazz is a way to celebrate. They did say we get Lots of food before and after the party and that we even get presents for Christmas. Hmm, maybe I can get to like this fat guy afterall.
I might as well try since it doesn't look like he's going away anytime soon!

Madness, More and More MADNESS!

I'm back. Have you missed me? We have so much going on up here each day that I don't always get to write. There are always newcomers you see and we sure do enjoy meeting each and everyone. There's also the trains, the walks, the food, you know the good life! I think I've mentioned how Minmouse is a tough but lovable boss to us all right? She keeps us in line but I have discovered a secret of hers. Now all the others in our group may not know this but in my keen detective skills I have found her out. Everyday at the same exact time Minnie disappears. Not for long, mind you, but I wondered why it was always at the same time. So, I followed her.

Minmouse goes to where the arrivals come in. She sits there and waits everyday. If there is a dog or a cat with nobody to greet them on our side, she brings them back to Fred. I had to ask her why and she said that she waited for somebody to come for her and nobody did and that she never wanted any other pet to feel alone. Wow. My eyes teared over on that one. She said that everyday she goes and checks for more newcomers but also to see if the adoptees in Fred's care now have folks we need to bring back. This explains so much really. There are always cats and dogs coming and going but I never really thought about how they knew to leave. I have to say, I am really impressed and now understand her authority. Wow. I know I said that already.

No wonder Mom was so crazy about her. I asked Minnie and now I join her on her walks sometimes. It's good to know I'm helping. OK...back to the madness.

The house has over the past few days, well weeks actually, turned into something very different.

My Mom and Dad have been working on it day and night and I don't like that...it's less attention to ME and really, it's all about Me ya know? I followed Mom to the bathroom one day and there in the bathtub I was shocked, shocked I tell you. In the tub were hundreds of animals. There were bears, lions, reindeer, cats, dogs, frogs, you name it, they were in the tub. What the heck? All of them were in red and green and had bows and presents. Insanity. We better not have to feed this bunch, we'll go broke. The rooms, one by one were no longer usable. They were filled with trees and animals and all sorts of things...things. I can't figure this out. Dad, well the silly, silly man is back and he's lost his mind altogether. He's in our bonus room and is surrounded by elves. WHAT? I don't even know what elves are but there are nearly 600 of them in here. Some are four feet tall, some are 4 inches tall. They're in the windows, they're hanging from the ceilings, they've got their own train line, (which is, of course red and green, duh), they've got an entire land going on in here. Dad is starting to actually Look like an elf. I just don't get it. The hall bath, which is for guests, well they better not get dirty. The shower/tub is now tree land.

When does this end? I am so overwhelmed by this mass insanity and yet my fellow dog, Celie as well as the cats, well they just continue to do their napping, their eating, all the normal daily things. Do they not realize we are in danger with these folks now? I do not feel safe with a man who thinks he's an elf and a Mom who just keeps on finding more places to put these trees and trinkets. I would call someone but really, would anyone believe me? Sheesh, I'm going to try to sleep...maybe this is a weird dream. One can only hope!

Madness, It's Madness I tell You

I have been feeling quite at home here lately. Winnie and Mickey are now letting me hang out with them. This is big...she's in charge of all that goes on, so now I get to know what's up all the time. They even wave to me from the windows when I'm outside, that's nice don't ya think?

Winnie is so little but sheesh, she's tough on her rules. I've gotten them to talk a bit about him...you know Bubba. Winnie knew him the longest so her insight may help me. It seems his greatness even saved Mickey's life along the way. Great, more heroics. Bubba made it his life's work to keep the cats safe. I didn't make that up, Winnie told me that. So, I guess that's a clue as to my job here, huh? Winnie said Bubba would sleep on the bed with Mom everyday as soon as Dad got up, he'd be right there. OK, I will never get on the bed now. He also loved the couches, so...off limits. I will make my way here with them, I will not do as He did. Anyhow, one of the days we were sitting chatting was interrupted by the sound of a large truck. What in the world is this about? This very large truck pulling into my driveway? Well, it was going to get stranger, that's for sure! The cats and Celie didn't seem surprised by this at all, weird. Then I watched and Dad was the driver. Now Dad is not a trucker ok? What gives? He opened the back of this massive truck and it was loaded, to the tippy top, with stuff. All I could see were boxes and bags and buckets...of stuff. What the heck. He spent hours unloading all this stuff into the garage.

Then it got even weirder...he started to load up the truck with the stuff in the house. Oh my goodness. Is this some strange exercise routine or what? I asked George, Celie, Winnie and
Mickey and they just laughed and said ignore it or you'll go insane. Ignore this? How can I ignore this? Maybe it's a fake Dad who's stealing from us. But then, if he was stealing, why did he bring all these boxes and buckets to us? I just started to get comfy here and now my world is upside down. Nice. Real nice Daddy-O. All of a sudden I'm watching blankets and pillows and rugs on the floor leaving the house. All the pictures are gone too, so are the cookie jars and wait, Lamps too. This really can't be good but Mom isn't stopping him. She seems to be helping. How can this be? I like our stuff. Things just keep getting worse and worse. The plates, the glasses, all the kitchen nik naks...gone. There's even been removal of all the bathroom items. What are they doing? Meantime, Celie and the cats nap on. Are they aware that our world as we know it is leaving? How can they nap? I am having (another) anxiety attack. Great, just great. I need to do something, but what? Do I call the police or a doctor for these two? The madness goes on for eternity. Dad fills this huge truck, drives off. A few hours later he's back...with MORE of this stuff of his. Where is he getting it all anyhow? None of it can fit in the house, of this I am sure.

By now with my nerves shattered, I too am ready to nap. More pass out, but let's call it a nap, ok? It may all be a bad dream, I 'll get up and things will be back to normal. Two hours later I wake up and am alone in the family room. I can hear noise in the living room so wander there.

OK..Now I'm sure they need a doctor. There are trees in the house. Trees do not belong in houses. Trees. The one blocking my lovely view of the street is huge. It's bigger than trees outside for goodness sake. Dad seems quite involved with this tree while Mom is dealing with a tree by the fireplace. What in the world has happened to these two? There are trees, trees, trees.

I wish I knew how to use a phone, I know the commercials say dial 911, but I don't have a clue how to do that. Trees. Madness, madness I tell you.

Cats and Dogs...

Cats are not dogs. I know, you all know that already. But did you realize that there is much discrimination between the 2? Did you know that cats always, always get the preferential treatment. It's wrong,I tell you, it needs be dealt with. How can I back up these remarks you say? OK, let's begin with food. They get these very cute, tiny cans with all sorts of flavors. They can choose from salmon, tuna, trout, turkey, chicken...the list goes on and on. Dogs...we get canned something. Same taste no matter what the name on the ugly, bulky can. Dry foods, same results. On top of all that, they get to eat their food on a lovely placemat, in very cute bowls I might add, and those food bowls are on top of a counter. Celie and I, well we get to eat from our ugly bowls on the floor. It's not right I tell you. We may as well get crumbs off the floor...nasty.

Then there's the fact that cats can cheat and snack on our food (I'm talking to you George!). They come and drink our water. There's no way we can get on the counters to taste test their food.

I think there should be equal rights for both of us. But beyond food there's the other, bigger issue. When a cat goes potty, they have indoor facilities. Celie and I, we go out. Does nobody care that it's pouring rain out there, that there are strong winds out there, that there may be extreme heat out there? Noooo, they don't care. Little kitties get their stuff cleaned up asap and go on their merry way. It's not right, it really isn't. Now, on top of all these there is the lap issue. That's more or less real prejudice rearing it's ugly head. Celie, as a 12lb. furball gets to do laptime whenever she wants. ME? Nope, I get to watch. And there's alot to watch, it's an endless parade to Mom's lap. They take numbers in the morning to schedule the times. Even with that they lay next to her, over her, whatever they want is ok. If I were to lay on her head, gee, how well would that go over huh? It's just wrong. I wanted to file a protest with authorities but not knowing how to read left me limited and George certainly was not going to assist me on this. Maybe I should make him an honorary dog...then he'd help wouldn't he? Hmmm. Dog training George. I'll have to see if CelieNudge will help with this plan.

To The Long Beach...Post Haste!

Alrighty...I'm ready to go. I had a great sleep and have my mind made up. I shall give Dad such a surprise. He left for work already. Now I just need to have Mom let me out in the yard. I have devised my escape route. In making the yard nice and pretty, they had brick planter walls built. I suspect it never dawned on them that those walls would make a 6 foot fence easy to clear, did they? Of course the mighty Bubba and Celie probably never thought of my clever plan, hehehe.

So, I'm over the fence. Down the hill I run...all the way to the main road. George said look for the Gas Station and turn down the road before it. Got it. WOW...there are tons of cars on here. They are zipping right along. I don't know that I can keep up with this speed. They'll need to go around me that's all. Lots and lots of horns blowing...I guess that's the way to say hello while driving? I hope the beach isn't too far, this is rather scary to tell you the truth. They zip right next to me, the noise, it's all...well, rather overwhelming. What have I done? I can do this, right? I don't know how to go back anyhow so I better get there. After running so hard I'm a bit tired, I'll just stroll for a few minutes, get my energy back. Hey, look. It's a nice car pulling over ahead. Do you think they're headed to the long beach? I go close and they offer me a ride. How thoughtful. I sit still in the back, thankful for the rest. The sign for Beach Cities is ahead, this is great. But wait a second, they're pulling off the road. Do they know a shortcut? I think I may have dozed off because next thing I know I'm at a storefront. A vet office. Does my friend Vet have another place? Cool, he can help I'm sure. I go inside and the driver of the car talks to Vet and then leaves. I thought he was getting directions? Vet takes me to a room and leaves me there. Rude guy this one. Not at all like my friend Vet. A few minutes later Mom shows up.

Mom? How did she get here? She put the leash on me and was ready to leave and then the Vet and a girl there started yelling at Mom. They said she was unfit to have a dog. They said she was lucky to get me back, she should be reported for animal abuse. Mom? Are these folks nuts or what? Did they not understand when I told them about the beach and Dad and surprises? Duh.

So Mom puts me in the Jeep and we get ready to go home. I was not happy that Mom was yelled at by Vet so I used the magic window button to go out and tell them a thing or two. Mom nearly crashed the car though. She ran out and got me, causing more horns to blow. Hello, hello, hello. Too many friendly folks sometimes. I don't have time to say hello to all of you nuts! So back into the car we go. Magic window no longer magical for me. We drive home. Mom hasn't said a word. We get into the garage and Mom sits in the car and cries. Why was she crying? Did she realize my surprise for Dad had been ruined? Did she know Dad would have been so happy to see me? I've never seen my Mom cry and I do not like it, not at all. Then she spoke to me. She said I was to never, not ever, run off again. She said those cars could have hit me, killed me, or even picked me up and taken me to where I'd never come back home again. Oh my. I had never thought of that. Never come back? But this is my forever home, how could somebody keep me from here?

I don't ever want to see Mom cry, I don't want to lose my home, I don't think I'm ever going to go to the beach. I think it's like Dorothy said....there's no place like home!

It's the 29th...MY DAY.

Today is November 29th. This is a special day for me. My Mom found me on the 29th of June and has deemed the 29th of each month my 'versary day. Neat huh? On this day I get my choice of treats, meals, walk lengths and directions, and just about anything else I can think of. It's a good deal, wonder why it's only one day each month? Even though I'm up here now she still marks this day. That's my Mom....she always remembers me, me, me,me. The cats and Celie were a bit put off about this celebration each month. Now is it my fault they didn't get a day like this every month? Nope, I'm special, I'm Max! They also never mention that they get an entire Month for their birthdays. I don't complain about that, I don't know when my birthday was so it's hard to demand a month huh? I look forward to this day, I really do. Mom wakes up and the kisses begin. The treats, they come all day long. Then there's Lunch. We don't normally get lunch, but on this day we do. Then comes dinner. Most often it's steak. That should be it was steak. Once we moved to our new home things changed. A friend of Mom and Dad's came over with the most Wonderful food on the planet and from then on it became 'Strami' night. The Hat has the most wonderful pastrami on earth. (OK, I have no idea if there's better somewhere, but it sounds good huh?). The size of these sandwiches, well even for a fellow like me I get at least 2 meals from them, which means the party continues for days. Oh how I loved these sandwiches!

Each month Dad came home from working hard all day and then would go to the Hat and order my dinner. Yes, I got delivery service, how cool is that??? I told you I had a wonderful life! These are the things you can't forget, a Mom with kisses and hugs non-stop and a Dad who works as a delivery man for me. Yes, my life was wonderful.

The Plot Thickens...

Everyday up here brings something and someone new to appreciate. Folks, you have never seen colors like here. The flowers are so bright it's amazing. Fred loves the flowers so he always shows us the newest blooms. He's a funny guy, I don't think there's anything he doesn't like!

He was born to be here. I can't imagine there's anything he doesn't know either. I do want to ask why he kept his distance when we met in the past but it just seems to not matter, except when I write all this and remember it. He must have had a good reason so no big deal. Anyhow...back to the beach...

I have spent alot of time with George (the cat). He's quite a cool guy. He's very street wise he says. He told me he grew up on the mean streets of Chicago. I don't know what that means but it's cool huh? I don't understand how he grew up there since he's here and has been here since before me but whatever, he's George. He's been teaching me some neat tricks, like how to open doors to the garage and backyard. This is good, I won't have to ask anyone to let me out and George and I can play hide and seek in the garage. Great idea. We've spent alot of time on planning my trip to the beach, the long beach that Dad works at. I cannot wait! Can you imagine the surprised look on his face, as well as the pride in his eyes, when he sees I got there all by myself? I was hoping to go today but found out it's Saturday, and that means weekend...both Mom and Dad are home with us. They come and go alot, but always, always come back with treats for me. They bring stuff for the others as well, but really, it is all about me. I know this.

I am confident is stating that I have them wrapped around my paws, they just don't know it yet.

George has been opening up about the others so that I can know what's what and who's who.

He has been here 2 years already. Winnie, Mickey and Celie were here when he arrived. So too was Bubba. So, now I get the 411 on him...Finally. Bubba was the closest thing to the perfect dog that ever lived. Oh, great. Just what I needed to hear. Seems he was so great he even delivered Celie's puppies! Come on now really? Bubba was a Golden Retriever, wow, like WhiteGold I guess. But Bubba was here, he owned these people, MY people. Bubba never used a leash, he never made mistakes, he probably walked on water too. I got a headache from all this stuff so we canned the rest of his perfectness' life story. How much pressure can one dog like me take?

Now, more than ever, I must make this trip to the beach to show Mom and Dad that I'm special too.

Just Another Day in the Life...

Up here we basically have fun 24/7 and that's because there is no 24/7. Eat, sleep, play is whenever we want it to be. Fred is always finding new trips to take. Maybe he was an explorer or something, I don't know. It's wonderful the places we get to go to. As I've said we all go together, all the time. It makes things so much better to have such a close group. I'm learning more and more about all of the group each day, especially on the train rides. Tiger is a blast, he and Celie seem to be very close. Tiger just loves to play, and tease the cats. Gotta love that, you know? It's all done in fun, no worries...this is Heaven remember? Tiger and Lady are as tight as can be. They grew up together and had wonderful stories of their lives. Seems Lady has that same free spirit I've been known to have. They even knew Oscar. Somehow Oscar and Minnie seem to be linked to nearly everybody here. Mickey and I rode together today. You can't imagine how cool he is. I think he's everybody's favorite. He's the glue that keeps all of us buddies. He just seems to love everyone the same. We were trying to guess where Fred was headed but, as always, we were wrong. Fred just knows too much! He loves the trains, he loves the train whistle. He's got a deal with the conductor and everytime we're on a ride up here the train behind Mom & Dad's house whistle blows...just so they know we're on the road again! I'm not sure if they know that's why the whistle blows but hopefully they've figured it out by now. The people we met today were a ton of fun. They really love Fred, so they love us. We had a ton of good food. Did you know there is no bad food here? Amazing. You get all you want, when you want. Now...back to my plot...

George is fast becoming my closest buddy at home. He's even trying the dog food...not that I am in favor of sharing with him and Celie. But I'm trying to be friendly. George even cheers me on when I'm in the yard or when I go for walks. Nice guy. I asked him about getting a map for the beach of Dad's. He told me that when he was coming here they were on that big road and he did see signs that said Beach Cities. He said I should just keep following the signs, obvious clue huh? I did have to admit to not knowing how to read. (do ALL cats have this superior knowledge or just this crew???). He told me what to look at on the sign and then to just look for that exact same thing on any other signs and I would easily make it to Dad's long beach. I must get some sleep as tomorrow I will surprise him. This will be great.

Do You Know the Way To ...Long Beach?

I think I may have gotten ahead of myself. My Mom kisses me. Kisses...do you know what they are? You probably do, I did not. The first time she went to kiss me I was scared. I'd seen her give hugs and kisses to all the others and then it was my turn. What is a kiss for? Mom always says I love you and gives each of us a kiss. It really is sort of cool, even though I tried to pretend it was no big deal. Everyday, every time she gives one a pet or hug, we all get one. It's actually a miracle she gets anything done. I had never seen kisses, and WhiteGold never mentioned them to me. The word love, well can you try to imagine what that sounds like from a Mom? It's enough to melt a tough guy like me! Can you imagine what the gang boys would say if they saw me turning into a kissyfaced pup? Yea me. Dad kind of wondered if I was going to turn soft. Sooooo.....I

felt it my duty to show him how tough I could be. I sort of stepped up our walks. Some might say I nearly dragged him up the streets! He was strong though, he managed to keep up. We sort of

looked like we were practicing for those dog races in Alaska (yes, I do watch the Animal Channel, thank you very much!). I don't know that I could have handled the snow though. I don't even

know what snow is all about. I do know I don't like rain so seems snow would be the same...wet, cold feet. The only nice part of the rain is coming back in. Mom is right there with towels to dry me off. I am convinced I've got her wrapped...but then I heard Winnie say to George it's to keep me from getting the whole house wet and muddy. I like my version better. She doesn't go out so how could she know? There's a rule in the house...the one very strict rule. Cats do not go out. The cats say it's 'cause they're so cool and precious to Mom and Dad. I think it's 'cause Mom and Dad don't want to climb trees to get them back in. Celie would rather not go out much either. She really is turning into a cat. I think I'll try to get one of the cats to become a Dog...that'll shake things up a bit! But, back to me and my Dad and our walks. He loves to take me for these walks. I think it's his gym time. Sometimes we run all the way up the hill. I like to run. I'm very good at it actually. I do wish Dad would let me off the leash but he must want the upper body exercise that the pull gives him. I spend alot of time with Dad in the yard too. He seems to enjoy the flowers and bushes. He very kindly trims the bushes so that I can keep an eye out for any stray enemies that I'm supposed to guard against. I've asked Celie repeatedly what we should be on guard for but she never tells me. She just laughs and says not her problem-o now that I'm here. Girls. Between her and Winnie I don't get much clear intel. Dad still hasn't invited me to his beach. I'm sure it would be fun to go there. I like going in cars. I am a quick study, I bet I could find my way there if he'd take me just once. Now that's an idea. I must get a map. Maybe I could get there and surprise him? I'll ask George for some advice.

I'll Be Right Back...Guard the House!

There is a myth humans have about time. In your world you believe we cannot tell time. You think a minute or a day is the same to us. WRONG! We are aware of all time, we know hours, minutes, days, all of it. Of course, like humans, we must be taught. I had Winnie and Mickey to teach me. It was quite entertaining and enlightening. I would have just thought that clock was for my amusement, not to know how long somebody is gone. You should all remember this the next time you say you'll be right back. Right back means 10 minutes maximum. If you will be gone longer, be clear. My people didn't realize I knew what was what. They paid for their error.

It all started after Fred and Cele left. Not quite sure why they packed up and left, but they did.

I again ran to hug them and they ran into the car. Not very friendly, huh? Anyhow, after that Mom was getting ready to go out everyday. This was not good. It was fine that Mr.Dad went off to some beach, a long beach(?) each day but why did Mom go anywhere? I liked it when she was home. The first day she went, she kissed each of us and said, "I'll be right back. Max, you and Celie guard the house, ok?". WHAT? What am I guarding against? Should I be expecting soldiers, zombies, vampires, what? I needed more information. She went out the door and I watched from the window as she drove off. Celie went directly to the couch in the family room and started to nap. This is wrong, why is she napping when we must defend ourselves from the enemies that are coming??? Winnie, Mickey and George seemed like they too couldn't care less.

It's all on me, such pressure. I paced, I paced and did laps to check the clock. Right back came and went, I went to the window again but no sign of Mom. This is scary, it really is. I couldn't take it anymore, I actually pooped...right there, right in the living room in front of the fireplace!

This must be what being scared s....less means. I was a bundle of nerves, I can't believe I did that. Why isn't Mom back? Did the zombies or vampires or whoever get to her? Are we trapped in the house now, to never be fed again? This is so bad, you cannot imagine how I felt. It was more than 2 whole hours before Mom's car appeared. I was exhausted with worry by then, but tried to remain calm for her arrival. When she came in she knew...yes my poop does stink, OK?

So she went and cleaned it up and sent Celie and me to the yard for a few minutes. Nothing more was said. Couldn't she explain her tardiness at least? Rather rude I think. The next day, same story. It went like this for the whole week. Finally, finally she sat me down and explained things. She said she goes to physical therapy everyday and always comes straight home. She said she will never, ever, not come back because she loves us so I don't have to worry. Well, why couldn't she have said that on day one? It would have saved me my sanity and her the carpet!!!

So we reached an agreement, although she did still say right back, which I now knew meant up to 2 hours in her case. That night Mr.Dad got involved. He decided to be the "alpha" male I guess.

He called me into the living room and pointed to the area he thought I'd pooped in. I said, yes, that's close. He then Yelled at me. At me. He raised his voice to me. In that instant I had only one response...I peeed where I stood! I had never been yelled at in my life and he scared me more than the thought of zombies even. Mom told him to never yell at me again (thanks Mom!).

I can always count on my Mom to have my back. Mr.Dad has lots to learn. Maybe he should have gone to Boot Camp huh?

Camp Gets the Boot!

Well call me Surprised. How was I to know that posting Winnie's Surprise Party on here would create such a ruckus? Instead of 1000 cats we had more than 10,000 cats show up and almost as many dogs. She was well loved yes but MinMouse was pretty annoyed with me (to put it mildly) so I've been doing clean up work ever since. Yuckie stuff too. But, the party was a hit. There was a ton of ice cream and all sorts of treats. She was very surprised too so that was good. Fred arranged for all sorts of music, Katie did the decorating and Oscar and Bubba (him again) kept her busy until the party time. A great time had by all. OK, back to me, and BootCamp.
I was quite excited as we drove to Camp. I felt really loved, knowing Dad wanted to let me have the camping experience. How kind huh? Well, let's think about that. We arrived in the middle of nowhere to a big fenced piece of land. There were big areas where there were lots of dogs, all with their own person...but with leashes. Leashes at camp? The man Boot came and said he was a former Marine Boot Camp Instructor and had been running this camp for years. Most of the dogs were German or Dobermans, not that I'm a snob but the Germans seemed a bit rough and the Dobermans...well, where did their tails go? They all seemed angry. And they seemed angry at Me. Boot took me aside and told me to sit. Well it was dirty so I declined. He asked a 2nd time but I really didn't want to sit on the dirty ground. This didn't please him. He then tried to get me to fetch, to come, to lay down, all sorts of things. If I wasn't going to sit in the dirt why would he think I'd lay in it? Duh. Boot is a strange guy. He did a few other "tests" on me and then met with my forever folks. We sat on benches. I sat with Mom. He told them that I needed to spend at least 60 days with him. Mom almost fainted. She asked why I needed camp, a thought I too was now having. He said I needed to be broken. OK, I was broken and Vet fixed me, why would Boot want to break me again? He told them I needed to lose my personality and develop one that would be more obedient. Mom said...what? (thanks Mom!) He told her that I was devious and sneaky. Well, I would be really offended if I knew what that meant. Mom said that she liked my personality and she just wanted me to get some basic training as I had none.
He said no, I needed to be broken and that when they came to get me in 60 days they'd find a new dog. Mom looked at Dad and said NO. No is all I needed...I jumped over the table and ran for the door! Dad, well he spoke to Boot while Mom and me headed to the car. Camp that Boot!

FIDO GOES TO BOOT CAMP!

Living in my forever home is really great. Cele and Fred are still here, I guess they live here too? I don't know if they're ever going to talk to me. Fred really stays away. I don't know why. I always run to him to show him I'm friendly, but he seems to get upset by that. I don't know what to do. CelieNudge is very nice to me. She's a girl though, so she seems a bit "reserved". When we go outside she's not into running and jumping, she seems to do her thing and go back to the door and back to the couch inside. Not me. I am a D.O.G. I am not a furniture type guy. I'm tough, I am Max. When in the yard I saw there's alot of areas for exploring beyond the fence. I decided it was time to check it out. I heard they call in the "common area" whatever that is. I think it's a great running park. I went through to it ( I can't reveal my escape route, sorry) and
I was off. There's SOOO much grass, as far as the eye can see. I ran and ran and only stopped to say hello to the dogs I spotted on the other side of the fences. Come play, come play I said but not one dog did. Bunch of wussies. I was having a great time. I heard my name being called over and over again so I dashed back up near the fence. First Mom was there, next time Dad.
I waved and ran by. Catch you on the way back guys! They called again and again I returned to the fence and said, what...I'm right here, what's up? Dad got a strange look on his face and said Max...If you don't come back right now we're going to leave you there. Oh, ok...sure. I just laughed and ran off. These folks are so silly. They let cats run their lives, I am so sure I can get them to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Ha...leave me, right. So I ran amuck for a bit.
I then ran back to the fence. The lights are out. It's dark out here. Wait a second, it's dark in there too. What's up guys? I better get back and let them know the lights went out. I got back
and stood at the door. I even knocked on it and barked even...nobody came. Well, the cats and Celienudge came. They all shook their heads and said boy are you in big trouble. ME? What am I in trouble for? For being a dog? Hardly. I waited. I waited for a long time for the lights to come back on. Well. the lights did come back on but there was a look on Dad's face that didn't look like he was happy. I wonder what's up? He said I was going to go to Camp the next day. Wow...doggie camp? Never knew there was such a place. He said it was called Boot Camp. Guess some guy named Boot runs it? Can't wait, I bet at camp I'll get to run amuck and live off the land and be all sorts of outdoorsy dog stuff. Camp. Sounds like Fun!

The MOB Surprise!

I'm back. I'd like to tell you about Mickey. MickeyMoo is perfect. He really is. I used to hear Mom say that to him and I get it now. He's the only one that from the get go was accepted and even loved by Minnie. She's tough I tell you and yet...he arrived and she was the first to greet him. She saw what he'd done for Mom and was very proud of him. She took to him right away. He's just that lovable. Minnie, well she's fierce. I mean you have to meet her to get it. She is the leader of the MOB (that would be Minnie, Oscar, Bubba) show. All activities, heck all everything has to be approved by the MOB. I finally found out some stuff about Minnie. She was the youngest to arrive in Heaven and she had nobody here to greet her. She used that time to write the rulebooks I guess. She was the first ever cat Mom had. She was the reason all other cats came to be, she is very sure to mention that at the drop of a hat. Minmouse knows more about Mom (and Dad) than anyone. She won't talk about how or why she left so soon, and it doesn't matter anymore does it? When Winnie arrived, well that was awkward. ( I should state for the record that I was not here for any of this, it is information I have gathered for this story. I do know it to be true as this is Heaven, so there are no lies here!). Winnie spent 19 years with Mom. So she was the opposite of Minnie as she had Mom the longest. They were not quite ready to be best buddies but...they both love all the same people and dogs and cats, so it made it a bit easier to get along. MinMouse explained to WinPoo that all would be well as long as Winnie knew she wouldn't be Queen of the Universe but would still be Queen to all gray army cats. Winnie didn't mind too much, she was so happy to have so many friends already here and she knew Minmouse was well...MinMouse. I do think I still see a bit of jealousy (which is not allowed here) when Minnie sees Winnie and Katie go out together. Katie, well she is just a beauty queen herself. I am glad I don't look like her, she's pure white...that would be rough on me. I tend to spill stuff and make messes and I'd be dirty all the time, ya know what I mean? So that's part of the group up here. I guess I'm filling you in on this 'cause tomorrow is Winnie's 2nd birthday here. Minmouse and Mickey have arranged a HUGE surprise party for her. They've invited over 1000 cats and dogs and maybe 40 or 50 of Fred's closest friends. It should be quite the event...tons of food. Can't wait!

WHO is this Guy?

Everyday in Heaven is so pretty. There's much to see, to eat and there are all the train rides you want. Fred took us on a ride today. He never asks where to, we just climb aboard and take in the scenery. Trains are nice, I'd never been on one before here. They seem to be very pet friendly too. We all have a blast. Bubba (we'll talk about him when he's not reading this) seems to stay closest to Fred. I like to sit with the girls....especially Smokey and Lady. Celie and Queenie are thick as thieves, although there are no real thieves in Heaven, duh. They spend alot of time at the beauty parlor getting those silly pink ribbons in their hair. The cats, well what can I say about them. Oh, I can say lots...and I will. But back to Me, Max and his new home.

After the party for my arrival, I finally got to go inside my new home. WOW...big place. And, there were food bowls...2 of them. That means I get to eat twice as much I guess. I heard the silly man say one was for Celie, but hey, she's little, does she really need a bowl of her own? I think not. I'll just help her keep her girly figure by munching down. I started on my bowl but all of a sudden there were 6 eyeballs staring me down. Now what. No more surprises, please.

There were these 3 gray cats just inches from me and they looked serious. Seems they are part of the Gray Army and they run the place. How did Celienudge allow this to happen? Cats rule, what planet am I on? The Queen is Winnie. She is absolutely in charge. Mickey is the General of her army and George is the foot soldier. Winnie explained all this to me and said as long as I behave as well as Bubba I was welcome here. What's a Bubba? How did he act and where is he? I'd have to check with Celie on these rules and titles and find out about this Bubba fellow. But for the time being I wanted to hang out with my new family and lay on the carpet and just enjoy the day.

The big Cele and Fred seemed to be part of my new family. Fred avoided me though and Cele seemed confused by me. She too mentioned Bubba. I don't know what a Bubba is but I will figure this mystery out. Everyday Celienudge and I get a walk of the neighborhood. Cool places to see (and pee!). Fred likes walking Celienudge...I get Mr.Dad. I've been very good on the leash...they will need to let me off it soon though as I really was born to be a free spirit. Mr.Dad comes and goes each day. He gets up way too early for my taste. I had to do that early routine at the shelter but would prefer to sleep in. I think they appreciate my barking skills. I am able to alert them to all sorts of dangers..men in brown trucks, men in white trucks, potential trouble of those people walking by. I even protect them from birds. Dam, I am good at this. I knew I'd find my calling. With each day I've gotten to know the cats and Celienudge better. The cats are really quite nice. Who knew? I thought it was my sworn duty as a dog to not like them but this army is ok. Or maybe they're trying to trick me? I doubt it though. They all seem very relaxed.

I tried to find out about this Bubba guy from Winnie. She just shook her head and got all sad.

Why? She wouldn't say a word. Mickey is the same. He said just not yet, too soon to discuss. He's a really good guy, very quiet fellow but friendly in his way. I'll have to ask George what he knows. CelieNudge absolutely won't discuss Bubba, she actually got teary eyed at his name.

Who/what is this guy? Sheesh, you'd think he was WonderDog or something. Whatever. I'll get to the bottom of this. But not today, today I've got a ton of biscuits to devour and running amuck to do.

The VERY Long Way Home!

I'm back. Lots of fun stuff going on up here. Everyday we get new recruits and show them the ropes and give them the tour. It's fun, it's like seeing it again for the first time every time.

But back to Me...that's what you want to hear about, isn't it? I knew it. I've led a very exciting life...let's get to it.

I went with the nice volunteer to see Vet. I guess he's going to find the broken part and fix it?

I started to say hi...and bam, out like a light. What was that about? When I came to I was quite groggy, dazed and confused almost. Then I heard a voice say, Max, your Mom is here, are you ready to go home? Mom...I have a Mom and a home? This is the bestest day ever huh.

He put me on a leash (I don't like them much) and there was my lady...now and forever known to me to be Mom. Two fellows put me in her Jeep. Mom has her arm in this heavy metal brace thing so she can't very well lift me (or the Jeep door even!). We're off. Home, sweet Home. WhiteGold was right, life is good. She was told I was still groggy, and would sleep the whole 25 miles home. Yea, alright, are you kidding me? Sleep...I need to see where and what home is.

So as we started down the road I decided to stand up and stretch. Then I thought it would only be polite to help Mom navigate. She said words like sit, sit, sit Max, Please Sit. I don't know sit from lollipops so I ignored her words. I figured if she wanted to talk I should come up front with her. I could see what she saw that way. Mom didn't seem so happy about that move, I don't know why. I did my best to watch the road, but it wasn't going anywhere...there were more cars than I'd ever seen. I looked back and there were tons more behind us too. So, I took this opportunity to get some air out the window...and the magic window went all the way down so I

could really hang out. I figured I'd get out and check up ahead to see what was holding us up...good idea, or so I thought. The Mom person was not at all happy with me. She grabbed at

my tail, Ow. Then all of a sudden she jumped out of the car and pushed me back in from my window side. Just wanted to help you know. I felt unappreciated at that moment. The cars behind all made lots of noise and were yelling at Mom. I guess the tail pulling was seen by them. I'm sure it wasn't me hanging out on the road was it? So, now here we were, back in the Jeep...we've gone maybe a mile...maybe. Mom had magic powers of her own and locked the windows shut...darn. Too bad there was no air conditioning, like we had at the shelter. It was really, really hot that day. I think it was about an hour or so before we got off the big road that led to

home. We went up this steep hill and then she turned into a driveway....HOME. My home.
WOW. Then she took me out of the car and we went into the backyard. Hey, wait a second...

home, inside right? Why out back? This is not good for a fellow like me. There in the yard were all sorts of people. A party for me? This is cool huh? Celie was there, on a big CelieNudge person's lap. Fred was there too. For some reason, he was afraid of me. I never did find out why. The silly, silly man was there. He'd be Dad. There were others as well. They all said hello Max. It was good. But then, someone said ok, when are we having hot dogs? WHAT? I saw the fire going, but I never thought they'd be cooking dogs. Wait, I went from being a gang dog to being Lunch? This is just not right. Then I saw what smelled like food. Whew, hot dogs is a food, not a me. What a day. I need to never, ever do drugs again even if Vet says I should. I really want to get inside and see my home and nap.