To The Long Beach...Post Haste!

Alrighty...I'm ready to go. I had a great sleep and have my mind made up. I shall give Dad such a surprise. He left for work already. Now I just need to have Mom let me out in the yard. I have devised my escape route. In making the yard nice and pretty, they had brick planter walls built. I suspect it never dawned on them that those walls would make a 6 foot fence easy to clear, did they? Of course the mighty Bubba and Celie probably never thought of my clever plan, hehehe.

So, I'm over the fence. Down the hill I run...all the way to the main road. George said look for the Gas Station and turn down the road before it. Got it. WOW...there are tons of cars on here. They are zipping right along. I don't know that I can keep up with this speed. They'll need to go around me that's all. Lots and lots of horns blowing...I guess that's the way to say hello while driving? I hope the beach isn't too far, this is rather scary to tell you the truth. They zip right next to me, the noise, it's all...well, rather overwhelming. What have I done? I can do this, right? I don't know how to go back anyhow so I better get there. After running so hard I'm a bit tired, I'll just stroll for a few minutes, get my energy back. Hey, look. It's a nice car pulling over ahead. Do you think they're headed to the long beach? I go close and they offer me a ride. How thoughtful. I sit still in the back, thankful for the rest. The sign for Beach Cities is ahead, this is great. But wait a second, they're pulling off the road. Do they know a shortcut? I think I may have dozed off because next thing I know I'm at a storefront. A vet office. Does my friend Vet have another place? Cool, he can help I'm sure. I go inside and the driver of the car talks to Vet and then leaves. I thought he was getting directions? Vet takes me to a room and leaves me there. Rude guy this one. Not at all like my friend Vet. A few minutes later Mom shows up.

Mom? How did she get here? She put the leash on me and was ready to leave and then the Vet and a girl there started yelling at Mom. They said she was unfit to have a dog. They said she was lucky to get me back, she should be reported for animal abuse. Mom? Are these folks nuts or what? Did they not understand when I told them about the beach and Dad and surprises? Duh.

So Mom puts me in the Jeep and we get ready to go home. I was not happy that Mom was yelled at by Vet so I used the magic window button to go out and tell them a thing or two. Mom nearly crashed the car though. She ran out and got me, causing more horns to blow. Hello, hello, hello. Too many friendly folks sometimes. I don't have time to say hello to all of you nuts! So back into the car we go. Magic window no longer magical for me. We drive home. Mom hasn't said a word. We get into the garage and Mom sits in the car and cries. Why was she crying? Did she realize my surprise for Dad had been ruined? Did she know Dad would have been so happy to see me? I've never seen my Mom cry and I do not like it, not at all. Then she spoke to me. She said I was to never, not ever, run off again. She said those cars could have hit me, killed me, or even picked me up and taken me to where I'd never come back home again. Oh my. I had never thought of that. Never come back? But this is my forever home, how could somebody keep me from here?

I don't ever want to see Mom cry, I don't want to lose my home, I don't think I'm ever going to go to the beach. I think it's like Dorothy said....there's no place like home!

It's the 29th...MY DAY.

Today is November 29th. This is a special day for me. My Mom found me on the 29th of June and has deemed the 29th of each month my 'versary day. Neat huh? On this day I get my choice of treats, meals, walk lengths and directions, and just about anything else I can think of. It's a good deal, wonder why it's only one day each month? Even though I'm up here now she still marks this day. That's my Mom....she always remembers me, me, me,me. The cats and Celie were a bit put off about this celebration each month. Now is it my fault they didn't get a day like this every month? Nope, I'm special, I'm Max! They also never mention that they get an entire Month for their birthdays. I don't complain about that, I don't know when my birthday was so it's hard to demand a month huh? I look forward to this day, I really do. Mom wakes up and the kisses begin. The treats, they come all day long. Then there's Lunch. We don't normally get lunch, but on this day we do. Then comes dinner. Most often it's steak. That should be it was steak. Once we moved to our new home things changed. A friend of Mom and Dad's came over with the most Wonderful food on the planet and from then on it became 'Strami' night. The Hat has the most wonderful pastrami on earth. (OK, I have no idea if there's better somewhere, but it sounds good huh?). The size of these sandwiches, well even for a fellow like me I get at least 2 meals from them, which means the party continues for days. Oh how I loved these sandwiches!

Each month Dad came home from working hard all day and then would go to the Hat and order my dinner. Yes, I got delivery service, how cool is that??? I told you I had a wonderful life! These are the things you can't forget, a Mom with kisses and hugs non-stop and a Dad who works as a delivery man for me. Yes, my life was wonderful.

The Plot Thickens...

Everyday up here brings something and someone new to appreciate. Folks, you have never seen colors like here. The flowers are so bright it's amazing. Fred loves the flowers so he always shows us the newest blooms. He's a funny guy, I don't think there's anything he doesn't like!

He was born to be here. I can't imagine there's anything he doesn't know either. I do want to ask why he kept his distance when we met in the past but it just seems to not matter, except when I write all this and remember it. He must have had a good reason so no big deal. Anyhow...back to the beach...

I have spent alot of time with George (the cat). He's quite a cool guy. He's very street wise he says. He told me he grew up on the mean streets of Chicago. I don't know what that means but it's cool huh? I don't understand how he grew up there since he's here and has been here since before me but whatever, he's George. He's been teaching me some neat tricks, like how to open doors to the garage and backyard. This is good, I won't have to ask anyone to let me out and George and I can play hide and seek in the garage. Great idea. We've spent alot of time on planning my trip to the beach, the long beach that Dad works at. I cannot wait! Can you imagine the surprised look on his face, as well as the pride in his eyes, when he sees I got there all by myself? I was hoping to go today but found out it's Saturday, and that means weekend...both Mom and Dad are home with us. They come and go alot, but always, always come back with treats for me. They bring stuff for the others as well, but really, it is all about me. I know this.

I am confident is stating that I have them wrapped around my paws, they just don't know it yet.

George has been opening up about the others so that I can know what's what and who's who.

He has been here 2 years already. Winnie, Mickey and Celie were here when he arrived. So too was Bubba. So, now I get the 411 on him...Finally. Bubba was the closest thing to the perfect dog that ever lived. Oh, great. Just what I needed to hear. Seems he was so great he even delivered Celie's puppies! Come on now really? Bubba was a Golden Retriever, wow, like WhiteGold I guess. But Bubba was here, he owned these people, MY people. Bubba never used a leash, he never made mistakes, he probably walked on water too. I got a headache from all this stuff so we canned the rest of his perfectness' life story. How much pressure can one dog like me take?

Now, more than ever, I must make this trip to the beach to show Mom and Dad that I'm special too.

Just Another Day in the Life...

Up here we basically have fun 24/7 and that's because there is no 24/7. Eat, sleep, play is whenever we want it to be. Fred is always finding new trips to take. Maybe he was an explorer or something, I don't know. It's wonderful the places we get to go to. As I've said we all go together, all the time. It makes things so much better to have such a close group. I'm learning more and more about all of the group each day, especially on the train rides. Tiger is a blast, he and Celie seem to be very close. Tiger just loves to play, and tease the cats. Gotta love that, you know? It's all done in fun, no worries...this is Heaven remember? Tiger and Lady are as tight as can be. They grew up together and had wonderful stories of their lives. Seems Lady has that same free spirit I've been known to have. They even knew Oscar. Somehow Oscar and Minnie seem to be linked to nearly everybody here. Mickey and I rode together today. You can't imagine how cool he is. I think he's everybody's favorite. He's the glue that keeps all of us buddies. He just seems to love everyone the same. We were trying to guess where Fred was headed but, as always, we were wrong. Fred just knows too much! He loves the trains, he loves the train whistle. He's got a deal with the conductor and everytime we're on a ride up here the train behind Mom & Dad's house whistle blows...just so they know we're on the road again! I'm not sure if they know that's why the whistle blows but hopefully they've figured it out by now. The people we met today were a ton of fun. They really love Fred, so they love us. We had a ton of good food. Did you know there is no bad food here? Amazing. You get all you want, when you want. Now...back to my plot...

George is fast becoming my closest buddy at home. He's even trying the dog food...not that I am in favor of sharing with him and Celie. But I'm trying to be friendly. George even cheers me on when I'm in the yard or when I go for walks. Nice guy. I asked him about getting a map for the beach of Dad's. He told me that when he was coming here they were on that big road and he did see signs that said Beach Cities. He said I should just keep following the signs, obvious clue huh? I did have to admit to not knowing how to read. (do ALL cats have this superior knowledge or just this crew???). He told me what to look at on the sign and then to just look for that exact same thing on any other signs and I would easily make it to Dad's long beach. I must get some sleep as tomorrow I will surprise him. This will be great.

Do You Know the Way To ...Long Beach?

I think I may have gotten ahead of myself. My Mom kisses me. Kisses...do you know what they are? You probably do, I did not. The first time she went to kiss me I was scared. I'd seen her give hugs and kisses to all the others and then it was my turn. What is a kiss for? Mom always says I love you and gives each of us a kiss. It really is sort of cool, even though I tried to pretend it was no big deal. Everyday, every time she gives one a pet or hug, we all get one. It's actually a miracle she gets anything done. I had never seen kisses, and WhiteGold never mentioned them to me. The word love, well can you try to imagine what that sounds like from a Mom? It's enough to melt a tough guy like me! Can you imagine what the gang boys would say if they saw me turning into a kissyfaced pup? Yea me. Dad kind of wondered if I was going to turn soft. Sooooo.....I

felt it my duty to show him how tough I could be. I sort of stepped up our walks. Some might say I nearly dragged him up the streets! He was strong though, he managed to keep up. We sort of

looked like we were practicing for those dog races in Alaska (yes, I do watch the Animal Channel, thank you very much!). I don't know that I could have handled the snow though. I don't even

know what snow is all about. I do know I don't like rain so seems snow would be the same...wet, cold feet. The only nice part of the rain is coming back in. Mom is right there with towels to dry me off. I am convinced I've got her wrapped...but then I heard Winnie say to George it's to keep me from getting the whole house wet and muddy. I like my version better. She doesn't go out so how could she know? There's a rule in the house...the one very strict rule. Cats do not go out. The cats say it's 'cause they're so cool and precious to Mom and Dad. I think it's 'cause Mom and Dad don't want to climb trees to get them back in. Celie would rather not go out much either. She really is turning into a cat. I think I'll try to get one of the cats to become a Dog...that'll shake things up a bit! But, back to me and my Dad and our walks. He loves to take me for these walks. I think it's his gym time. Sometimes we run all the way up the hill. I like to run. I'm very good at it actually. I do wish Dad would let me off the leash but he must want the upper body exercise that the pull gives him. I spend alot of time with Dad in the yard too. He seems to enjoy the flowers and bushes. He very kindly trims the bushes so that I can keep an eye out for any stray enemies that I'm supposed to guard against. I've asked Celie repeatedly what we should be on guard for but she never tells me. She just laughs and says not her problem-o now that I'm here. Girls. Between her and Winnie I don't get much clear intel. Dad still hasn't invited me to his beach. I'm sure it would be fun to go there. I like going in cars. I am a quick study, I bet I could find my way there if he'd take me just once. Now that's an idea. I must get a map. Maybe I could get there and surprise him? I'll ask George for some advice.

I'll Be Right Back...Guard the House!

There is a myth humans have about time. In your world you believe we cannot tell time. You think a minute or a day is the same to us. WRONG! We are aware of all time, we know hours, minutes, days, all of it. Of course, like humans, we must be taught. I had Winnie and Mickey to teach me. It was quite entertaining and enlightening. I would have just thought that clock was for my amusement, not to know how long somebody is gone. You should all remember this the next time you say you'll be right back. Right back means 10 minutes maximum. If you will be gone longer, be clear. My people didn't realize I knew what was what. They paid for their error.

It all started after Fred and Cele left. Not quite sure why they packed up and left, but they did.

I again ran to hug them and they ran into the car. Not very friendly, huh? Anyhow, after that Mom was getting ready to go out everyday. This was not good. It was fine that Mr.Dad went off to some beach, a long beach(?) each day but why did Mom go anywhere? I liked it when she was home. The first day she went, she kissed each of us and said, "I'll be right back. Max, you and Celie guard the house, ok?". WHAT? What am I guarding against? Should I be expecting soldiers, zombies, vampires, what? I needed more information. She went out the door and I watched from the window as she drove off. Celie went directly to the couch in the family room and started to nap. This is wrong, why is she napping when we must defend ourselves from the enemies that are coming??? Winnie, Mickey and George seemed like they too couldn't care less.

It's all on me, such pressure. I paced, I paced and did laps to check the clock. Right back came and went, I went to the window again but no sign of Mom. This is scary, it really is. I couldn't take it anymore, I actually pooped...right there, right in the living room in front of the fireplace!

This must be what being scared s....less means. I was a bundle of nerves, I can't believe I did that. Why isn't Mom back? Did the zombies or vampires or whoever get to her? Are we trapped in the house now, to never be fed again? This is so bad, you cannot imagine how I felt. It was more than 2 whole hours before Mom's car appeared. I was exhausted with worry by then, but tried to remain calm for her arrival. When she came in she knew...yes my poop does stink, OK?

So she went and cleaned it up and sent Celie and me to the yard for a few minutes. Nothing more was said. Couldn't she explain her tardiness at least? Rather rude I think. The next day, same story. It went like this for the whole week. Finally, finally she sat me down and explained things. She said she goes to physical therapy everyday and always comes straight home. She said she will never, ever, not come back because she loves us so I don't have to worry. Well, why couldn't she have said that on day one? It would have saved me my sanity and her the carpet!!!

So we reached an agreement, although she did still say right back, which I now knew meant up to 2 hours in her case. That night Mr.Dad got involved. He decided to be the "alpha" male I guess.

He called me into the living room and pointed to the area he thought I'd pooped in. I said, yes, that's close. He then Yelled at me. At me. He raised his voice to me. In that instant I had only one response...I peeed where I stood! I had never been yelled at in my life and he scared me more than the thought of zombies even. Mom told him to never yell at me again (thanks Mom!).

I can always count on my Mom to have my back. Mr.Dad has lots to learn. Maybe he should have gone to Boot Camp huh?

Camp Gets the Boot!

Well call me Surprised. How was I to know that posting Winnie's Surprise Party on here would create such a ruckus? Instead of 1000 cats we had more than 10,000 cats show up and almost as many dogs. She was well loved yes but MinMouse was pretty annoyed with me (to put it mildly) so I've been doing clean up work ever since. Yuckie stuff too. But, the party was a hit. There was a ton of ice cream and all sorts of treats. She was very surprised too so that was good. Fred arranged for all sorts of music, Katie did the decorating and Oscar and Bubba (him again) kept her busy until the party time. A great time had by all. OK, back to me, and BootCamp.
I was quite excited as we drove to Camp. I felt really loved, knowing Dad wanted to let me have the camping experience. How kind huh? Well, let's think about that. We arrived in the middle of nowhere to a big fenced piece of land. There were big areas where there were lots of dogs, all with their own person...but with leashes. Leashes at camp? The man Boot came and said he was a former Marine Boot Camp Instructor and had been running this camp for years. Most of the dogs were German or Dobermans, not that I'm a snob but the Germans seemed a bit rough and the Dobermans...well, where did their tails go? They all seemed angry. And they seemed angry at Me. Boot took me aside and told me to sit. Well it was dirty so I declined. He asked a 2nd time but I really didn't want to sit on the dirty ground. This didn't please him. He then tried to get me to fetch, to come, to lay down, all sorts of things. If I wasn't going to sit in the dirt why would he think I'd lay in it? Duh. Boot is a strange guy. He did a few other "tests" on me and then met with my forever folks. We sat on benches. I sat with Mom. He told them that I needed to spend at least 60 days with him. Mom almost fainted. She asked why I needed camp, a thought I too was now having. He said I needed to be broken. OK, I was broken and Vet fixed me, why would Boot want to break me again? He told them I needed to lose my personality and develop one that would be more obedient. Mom said...what? (thanks Mom!) He told her that I was devious and sneaky. Well, I would be really offended if I knew what that meant. Mom said that she liked my personality and she just wanted me to get some basic training as I had none.
He said no, I needed to be broken and that when they came to get me in 60 days they'd find a new dog. Mom looked at Dad and said NO. No is all I needed...I jumped over the table and ran for the door! Dad, well he spoke to Boot while Mom and me headed to the car. Camp that Boot!

FIDO GOES TO BOOT CAMP!

Living in my forever home is really great. Cele and Fred are still here, I guess they live here too? I don't know if they're ever going to talk to me. Fred really stays away. I don't know why. I always run to him to show him I'm friendly, but he seems to get upset by that. I don't know what to do. CelieNudge is very nice to me. She's a girl though, so she seems a bit "reserved". When we go outside she's not into running and jumping, she seems to do her thing and go back to the door and back to the couch inside. Not me. I am a D.O.G. I am not a furniture type guy. I'm tough, I am Max. When in the yard I saw there's alot of areas for exploring beyond the fence. I decided it was time to check it out. I heard they call in the "common area" whatever that is. I think it's a great running park. I went through to it ( I can't reveal my escape route, sorry) and
I was off. There's SOOO much grass, as far as the eye can see. I ran and ran and only stopped to say hello to the dogs I spotted on the other side of the fences. Come play, come play I said but not one dog did. Bunch of wussies. I was having a great time. I heard my name being called over and over again so I dashed back up near the fence. First Mom was there, next time Dad.
I waved and ran by. Catch you on the way back guys! They called again and again I returned to the fence and said, what...I'm right here, what's up? Dad got a strange look on his face and said Max...If you don't come back right now we're going to leave you there. Oh, ok...sure. I just laughed and ran off. These folks are so silly. They let cats run their lives, I am so sure I can get them to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Ha...leave me, right. So I ran amuck for a bit.
I then ran back to the fence. The lights are out. It's dark out here. Wait a second, it's dark in there too. What's up guys? I better get back and let them know the lights went out. I got back
and stood at the door. I even knocked on it and barked even...nobody came. Well, the cats and Celienudge came. They all shook their heads and said boy are you in big trouble. ME? What am I in trouble for? For being a dog? Hardly. I waited. I waited for a long time for the lights to come back on. Well. the lights did come back on but there was a look on Dad's face that didn't look like he was happy. I wonder what's up? He said I was going to go to Camp the next day. Wow...doggie camp? Never knew there was such a place. He said it was called Boot Camp. Guess some guy named Boot runs it? Can't wait, I bet at camp I'll get to run amuck and live off the land and be all sorts of outdoorsy dog stuff. Camp. Sounds like Fun!

The MOB Surprise!

I'm back. I'd like to tell you about Mickey. MickeyMoo is perfect. He really is. I used to hear Mom say that to him and I get it now. He's the only one that from the get go was accepted and even loved by Minnie. She's tough I tell you and yet...he arrived and she was the first to greet him. She saw what he'd done for Mom and was very proud of him. She took to him right away. He's just that lovable. Minnie, well she's fierce. I mean you have to meet her to get it. She is the leader of the MOB (that would be Minnie, Oscar, Bubba) show. All activities, heck all everything has to be approved by the MOB. I finally found out some stuff about Minnie. She was the youngest to arrive in Heaven and she had nobody here to greet her. She used that time to write the rulebooks I guess. She was the first ever cat Mom had. She was the reason all other cats came to be, she is very sure to mention that at the drop of a hat. Minmouse knows more about Mom (and Dad) than anyone. She won't talk about how or why she left so soon, and it doesn't matter anymore does it? When Winnie arrived, well that was awkward. ( I should state for the record that I was not here for any of this, it is information I have gathered for this story. I do know it to be true as this is Heaven, so there are no lies here!). Winnie spent 19 years with Mom. So she was the opposite of Minnie as she had Mom the longest. They were not quite ready to be best buddies but...they both love all the same people and dogs and cats, so it made it a bit easier to get along. MinMouse explained to WinPoo that all would be well as long as Winnie knew she wouldn't be Queen of the Universe but would still be Queen to all gray army cats. Winnie didn't mind too much, she was so happy to have so many friends already here and she knew Minmouse was well...MinMouse. I do think I still see a bit of jealousy (which is not allowed here) when Minnie sees Winnie and Katie go out together. Katie, well she is just a beauty queen herself. I am glad I don't look like her, she's pure white...that would be rough on me. I tend to spill stuff and make messes and I'd be dirty all the time, ya know what I mean? So that's part of the group up here. I guess I'm filling you in on this 'cause tomorrow is Winnie's 2nd birthday here. Minmouse and Mickey have arranged a HUGE surprise party for her. They've invited over 1000 cats and dogs and maybe 40 or 50 of Fred's closest friends. It should be quite the event...tons of food. Can't wait!